|
Post by Lucas Rieter (Owner) on Jun 5, 2017 16:07:00 GMT -6
I want actualy discussions and feedback.
What did you like? What was your favorite part? Any weaknesses?
Anything you think can be here. Just be respectful.
|
|
Jack Diamond
Opening Match Guy
World Champion
Current (And First) ICW World Champion. Former ICW Shooting Star Champion (1x)
Posts: 332
|
Post by Jack Diamond on Jun 5, 2017 19:24:47 GMT -6
My favorite part was the Duke Kosloff cannibal angle " We then see Duke Kosloff eating Stetson alive in his match" I kid, I kid. Really good show. Opening segment was good, loved the inclusion of "Denial" The Duke/Rossdale interaction was cool to read (boy that Rossdale sure has a lot of issues in ICW The tag team match was really well done. You had some great back and forth action and some nice tag spots in there. I think my favorite part was the long alliteration by Prescott on the spinebuster (I couldn't help but chuckle) The Steele/White match I feel was a tad rushed but still nicely typed out. The ending kind of has me scratching my head, can't wait to see where that leads. The Kade/Acheston match was good and really furthers the Kade/Barratt and Rossdale/Reiter stuff as well as all the backstage segments. We definitely got a heavy dose of that in this show (which isn't necessarily a bad thing as its such a big story right now) Which carries over into the Diamond/Barratt match. I hope that was as hard for you to decide a winner as Bobby and I tried to make it for you It was a good ending and can really add more depth to Barratt's troubles with Shawn (basically screwing him out of a title shot) and I can't complain as it gives me a win and more ammo to use in RPs. Overall I think you did a really good job with this show. My only negatives (and neither are major) is some of the grammar/spelling (unfortunately spell check won't change "eating" to "beating") and I think title matches should be a little less rushed. You've done a great job so far spotlighting the title matches so far and I know with all the Kade/Barratt backstage antics/interference it was hard to get everything in, but I would have liked a little longer Ironman match. Hope this helps
|
|
|
Post by Bobby Barratt on Jun 5, 2017 20:47:50 GMT -6
Thought it was a great show! Everyone has something to work with, going forward! Well done everyone!
|
|
|
Post by Lucas Rieter (Owner) on Jun 5, 2017 21:09:12 GMT -6
My favorite part was the Duke Kosloff cannibal angle " We then see Duke Kosloff eating Stetson alive in his match" I kid, I kid. Really good show. Opening segment was good, loved the inclusion of "Denial" The Duke/Rossdale interaction was cool to read (boy that Rossdale sure has a lot of issues in ICW The tag team match was really well done. You had some great back and forth action and some nice tag spots in there. I think my favorite part was the long alliteration by Prescott on the spinebuster (I couldn't help but chuckle) The Steele/White match I feel was a tad rushed but still nicely typed out. The ending kind of has me scratching my head, can't wait to see where that leads. The Kade/Acheston match was good and really furthers the Kade/Barratt and Rossdale/Reiter stuff as well as all the backstage segments. We definitely got a heavy dose of that in this show (which isn't necessarily a bad thing as its such a big story right now) Which carries over into the Diamond/Barratt match. I hope that was as hard for you to decide a winner as Bobby and I tried to make it for you It was a good ending and can really add more depth to Barratt's troubles with Shawn (basically screwing him out of a title shot) and I can't complain as it gives me a win and more ammo to use in RPs. Overall I think you did a really good job with this show. My only negatives (and neither are major) is some of the grammar/spelling (unfortunately spell check won't change "eating" to "beating") and I think title matches should be a little less rushed. You've done a great job so far spotlighting the title matches so far and I know with all the Kade/Barratt backstage antics/interference it was hard to get everything in, but I would have liked a little longer Ironman match. Hope this helps Thanks for the feedback. Yeah the eating was on purpose. I wanted to use something a bit out there. Since Duke is so much bigger I figured "eating" him alive was interesting lol. Was never intended to be "beating". The grammar? Yeah I don't use a spellcheck, and I try to use good grammar. Sorry about that. It takes me about 4-5 hours of consistent typing to get these done roughly. I might get tired in my eyes or just not notice things. In the Don White ending, he only roleplayed 1 time as we all saw, and Steele scored higher in his first roleplay. So if Steele had only roleplayed 1 time as White did... Steele would of won by 3 points. Steele of course roleplayed 2 times, so the scores were lopsided greatly, and Don alluded greatly in his roleplay about going "dark", so I went for a heel turn for him. It is up to him to run with it. His roleplay hinted greatly at a heel turn, so I ran with it. Ari coming out and doing that whole thing was just a spot. They can take it where they want it or just leave it. Yeah the tag match was well done I thought The Barratt/Diamond match was incredible hard to decide. It was a 1 point match, and was the highest overall scoring match (total) so far for a singles. All 4 roleplays were high quality and what I did was have a dirty finish. I had the match be very close, and back and forth with a few neat spots. In the end, since it was so close, I wanted to make Barratt look good in the loss. You beat him barely yes, but since it was so close, I took liberty in making a even stronger angle with me and him. I've got something cooking hardcore in that angle btw. So yeah me costing Barratt the match and a shot at the Champion at Dead End is massive fuel for him and I. I kinda feel like I'm involved too much, but then again I think it makes things interesting. Maybe some of you think I take up too much of the show with "Shawn". Idk. I didn't intend for the Ironman match to feel rushed, but with White doing 1 good roleplay and Steele doing 2 better ones, for me it was somewhat of a boring write. I mean who in the world didn't think Steele was going to win ya know? So I tried to spice it up, while making Steele look good and White having a couple spots. The grammar part again, is probably just me being tired and rushing through some of it. I'm actually a good writer believe it or not, and while I don't take offense to it... it does bug me somewhat to think that I made that many mistakes. Sorry about that pal. Again I apprecaite ALL feedback on the shows. At least I got them 4 hours early this week.
|
|
Jack Diamond
Opening Match Guy
World Champion
Current (And First) ICW World Champion. Former ICW Shooting Star Champion (1x)
Posts: 332
|
Post by Jack Diamond on Jun 5, 2017 21:32:12 GMT -6
In the end, since it was so close, I wanted to make Barratt look good in the loss. You beat him barely yes, but since it was so close, I took liberty in making a even stronger angle with me and him. I've got something cooking hardcore in that angle btw. So yeah me costing Barratt the match and a shot at the Champion at Dead End is massive fuel for him and I. I kinda feel like I'm involved too much, but then again I think it makes things interesting. Maybe some of you think I take up too much of the show with "Shawn". Idk. I didn't intend for the Ironman match to feel rushed, but with White doing 1 good roleplay and Steele doing 2 better ones, for me it was somewhat of a boring write. I mean who in the world didn't think Steele was going to win ya know? So I tried to spice it up, while making Steele look good and White having a couple spots. The grammar part again, is probably just me being tired and rushing through some of it. I'm actually a good writer believe it or not, and while I don't take offense to it... it does bug me somewhat to think that I made that many mistakes. Sorry about that pal. Again I apprecaite ALL feedback on the shows. At least I got them 4 hours early this week. With the "eating" being intentional it makes a little more sense now. My brain just got clouded after that You do have really good writing and I've only noticed a few small grammar things from time to time, but personally knowing how much work goes into writing the quality of shows you are writing, it's almost a non-issue. When I am typing away like crazy for my RPs I always find several wordings or phrases I messed up and go back to edit it. That is even with me reading through it two of three times BEFORE posting. Anyways, don't sweat that critique, it's definitely not a knock at you because you do fantastic. I think because you do so well, that when you do miss something it kind of jumps out at me. As for the "Shawn" stuff. Yeah, you are in quite a bit of the show, but (1) you run the place and (2) the Barratt/Rossdale stuff is pretty damn entertaining. So it works out pretty good. I'm glad you aren't taking any offense to this, as its totally meant to be constructive and make you even better than you already are. And great job on getting the results early..as a member (and I'm sure everyone feels similar) seeing an owner really care about getting quality results to us and on time and in most cases, early, makes us want to work even harder for you.
|
|
|
Post by Lucas Rieter (Owner) on Jun 5, 2017 21:38:17 GMT -6
No problem. Everyone is welcomed to it all. I do feel like this week's show was the worst one or the 2nd worst one. It is hard to divide them out in my head.
I personally think this week's show was like a B- or a B. What I really want to know is what EVERYONE else thinks. Everyone that won deserved to win, and everyone that lost didn't make the cut. I'm not flipping coins to winners and losers guys trust me. I honestly feel really bad for Ari Naxt man. His best roleplays were this week. He scored his best, and did his best he's ever done. Duke also did really well. Stetson and Longboat were just a little better. It wasn't easy doing that one.
I'm not mad. Your critique was honest and respectful. That's all I ask. I very much appreciate it.
I really do feel like I'm in the show a lot, but that angle got rolling (Barratt started it lol) and we're rolling with it. With Jack being a tweener, and things having not yet unfolded and your small angle with Naxt ending there's not a place just yet.
In the future, I do hope to stay out of things a bit more. At the end of the day it is provind Kade and Barratt with a tremendous amount of stuff, and it is great to read I think like you said.
Ari is the best 0-5 dude I've ever seen. Incredible stuff. In any other fed he'd be 3-2 at least. Very unlucky with his matchups so far.
|
|
|
Post by Bobby Barratt on Jun 6, 2017 1:50:39 GMT -6
To be fair with you being involved so much, that's pretty much entirely on my head. Unfortunately with last night's finish, it won't be ending soon, lol.
You made me look as good as you could, given I lost. Given me plenty of excuses, which are fuel to a heel. So I'm good with it. Thanks!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2017 4:43:19 GMT -6
I think the show was really good this week from top to bottom. I can always tell which matches are very close by the way that you write them. I appreciate how you make the losers look really good in the very close match-ups. I also like the fact that when everyone RPs twice in their match, you put a lot of effort into the match and really make it great. I see your point with the Ironman match and I was also wondering why it was a little short, but I see your reasoning for it and agree with you on it. That White heel turn really spiced things up though and thought it was really a surprising moment? But, was it actually a double turn? As for Shawn and Lucas being involved so much, I think it's a pretty cool thing. It shows that you really are invested into ICW and even want to get in on the action yourself which is awesome! Maybe we'll see a Barratt/Rossdale match soon Keep up the great work and like every week, I look forward to the next show!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2017 5:30:18 GMT -6
What an awesome show... I absolutely loved the tag match, even though we didnt win i think we came out pretty strong, I have to give it to longboat and Brett, great great match up this week, and to my new partner and stable mate Duke, awesome job man. Thanks Shawn for all you do.
|
|
|
Post by Lucas Rieter (Owner) on Jun 6, 2017 7:10:34 GMT -6
Yeah I hate it Ari. It was tough giving you and Duke the loss. You guys just missed it.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2017 7:59:59 GMT -6
I really enjoyed this week's show, I loved hearing Sevendust. I look forward to these more than I do Monday night Raw. Still awaiting that Naxt first win, but I'm sure if he and Duke stick together it will come soon enough. I'm really looking forward to seeing that tag team work together. Also can't wait to see the tag match for the titles.
I wish Don could have gotten his second RP in this week. Was also good to see Kade get another W here. Tough loss for Barratt, but it definitely continues the story line and I can tell it was close.
|
|
|
Post by Bobby Barratt on Jun 6, 2017 8:28:25 GMT -6
Yeah I hate it Ari. It was tough giving you and Duke the loss. You guys just missed it. It was a hard pairing for them, facing Stetson who knocks it out of the park each time and Longboat, a newcomer who we didn't know what expect and credit to him, he killed it! Tough break guys
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2017 16:03:36 GMT -6
That White heel turn really spiced things up though and thought it was really a surprising moment? But, was it actually a double turn? That's a good question!
|
|
|
Post by Lucas Rieter (Owner) on Jun 6, 2017 17:15:05 GMT -6
It was a good show. You should definitely have a pat on the back. It didn't read 'X did this and X did that then Y does that and X submits', which is important if you're writing the whole thing in one sitting. Tends to be the case when writing to a deadline that you might start off with a thesaurus, a glossary, 4 hours spare time and a shit ton of enthusiasm but come the end of it you're just hitting whichever keys your thumbs hover over and can't wait to go to bed. That doesn't seem to be the case Rob, which is really good. I like you as a fedhead because of your forum honesty and the genuine care you have for your roster, your shows and your efeds image. I think for some reason you're very anxious about results and other people's opinions. You don't need to be. You'll keep the core you have with this quality of results and fedheading. The problem you're going to have with efeds is handlers are too scared to say what they really think, for fear they upset another writer or worse, upset you and those close judging calls end up being a bit more one sided. It's been like that since 2006 when I first started on these things. I'm not like that, though. I'm from England and we are brought up to say it as it is and if someone has a problem with it, fuck off. That isn't the case though mate. I'm still here though after a week of seeing what it's all about, still excited about Dead End, still excited about the next Spectacle, still excited to see how your feuds develop. The first impressions are a delight and you have absolutely nothing to worry about. You've got me hooked pal and I'm in it for the long term. I do have a few gripes. There's a slight segment after the Tag match where Longboat is using very facey sentences and referring to himself in first person which was very immersion breaking after spending hours getting back into the character again. No big problem, though, and nobody else has seemingly noticed it. I also don't understand the 'ref isn't there to see the submission' in favour of heel wrestlers - that's a wrestling script used to keep faces strong and make heels more hated when they eventually have their tainted win. Didn't feel like we got a clean win. I understand you wanted Duke/Ari to look strong in this match and deservedly so but five minutes of dominance and cockiness would do the trick? Again, it's just my immersion. I'm the kinda guy that plays Skyrim with an eating and drinking animation haha. I've finished Gold Rush now and the Stetson/Kosloff match was billed as a tables match but in the results ended up as a pinfall win. Not sure if I missed something? I think the show really needs more graphic content, a bigger font and more spacing. There were some excellent match pictures used on the Gold Rush card - if you saved a PSD and had a list of pre-done renders this would be easy and a nice touch on the results and an easy bookmark to refer to. These are it. Niggly little bits that don't have a huge impact. You're doing a great job mate. The content is good, the matches are eventful and there's rarely any simple matches as there's always a clusterfuck to finish it off. There's alliances forming, friends and enemies being made and some great storylines - Barrett/Rossdale is getting good heat. I'll create a thread now as a little 'roster feedback' idea, see if people engage, if they do you can use that for feedback too. It's sometimes easier than expecting open text replies. Don't be downhearted if people don't rush to critise you. Sometimes there just isn't much critism to recieve. Keep it up mate. Love you. Love you bro. lol The tables match didn't happen on purpose because Stetson was unable to show up for that match as he got busy. So I didn't want to blow that gimmick on a one sided affair. The match scores were quite close in your tag match. It was 42/58 or something. Close to even. So I just wanted to show it out as close. The faces (you guys) tapping out and the heels not getting the win was to make you guys seem like you pushed through to the win. And besides I was using that as a spot for you to swoop in and save the day with your finisher from the top. The Call to Odin is it? I guess it was a bit unorthodox, but I wanted to show frustration on the heels by Stetson tapping out and no one being there to make the call. PLus I wanted something for them to chew on going forward as Ari is 0-5 and I wanted them both to have something to use even more than they already had. I really appreciate the feedback. The font is small, but simple. dialogue is white, actions are orange... and its simple. Viewing that page as a whole outside of the frame isn't the preferred way. I don't know if you do so. Thank you for your comments.
|
|
|
Post by Lucas Rieter (Owner) on Jun 6, 2017 17:17:17 GMT -6
Oh, I also wanted to add... I'm not "concerned" about being negatively critiqued, but when you do something like this which is creative art... you want to know that people are interesting and care about what is happening.
Something about typing for 4-5 hours and then feeling like no one read it all, or skim read it drives me crazy.
So I just want to know that people read it, enjoyed it and want to know what they liked and iddn't like.
It isn't looking for validation really, because I know the results are at least "good", but it is more or less me trying to involve people about them, and seeing where I could make them better or just to converse about them.
|
|
|
Post by FireStorm on Jun 6, 2017 18:25:25 GMT -6
The owner says he wants to be critiqued but when you say something he gets defensive and rude. I have been reading the Role plays for about three weeks now so have a few friends of mine from other e-feds and there are some really great members here El Cazador is the best one here Barratt is awesome then you have a few that a few that are good and improving weekly Ari Naxt, Kosloff and then you have some that seem over rated like Stetson who had a very poor showing this week but was handed the win and before you say anything his partner didn't do good enough to get the win for them. With that being said it gives the e-fed the impression in order to win you have to be in tight with the owner.
|
|
|
Post by Lucas Rieter (Owner) on Jun 6, 2017 18:36:08 GMT -6
Duke, I checked the IPs. It isn't personal buddy, but you're out. I'm not dealing with this. You were a good member who is always improving, I'm been postitive, and helpful. You've been immature. I'm not going to tolerate your childish stuff. The IP address proves that it is you, and even if I didn't have that, I knew it was you... Like I said in my first response. Know that I know.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2017 19:07:45 GMT -6
I'm sad to see Duke go. I for one was feeling the burn.
|
|